Genre: Deathcore/Pure Shit
Year: 2008
WOW! This is... really bad. I can't fucking believe it. I don't even know how to review this! It's that horrible. You have to hear it for yourself to believe it.
She Made Me Cry So I Want To Kill Her are a deathcore band and they fucking suck more dicks than a hooker. They combine the weak shitty screamo screams with slam bree's and emo vocals. This is a demo with one song called "We Are Like Every Other Deathcore Band." It's starts off as Gothenburg worship metalcore then goes into deathcore overdrive. The riffs are pathetic and the vocals are embarassing to listen to. The drumming is horrible. The bass? They don't even have a bass player! Then it goes into a breakdown where the vocalist changed from his weak screaming to inhaled cricket vocals and then comes the emo chorus. The vocals are brutally gay. Everything about is shit. It goes back to the Deathcore sound and back to the Slam breakdown. The guitarist attempts to impress every body with his short "shredding" but he sounds like shit. Pure wank. As the emo chorus starts again, the "BREE" doesen't stopped and metalcore vocals can be heard at the same time with some of the emo vocals. It's like a giant hurricane of gayness. It doesen't get any worse than this...
Listen to the whole demo
No points.
Monday, December 29, 2008
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Bullet For My Valentine - Scream Aim Fire
If you think I'm going to give this album a good review, you have not been paying attention for the past year.
Bullet for My Valentine are shitty metalcore garbage. They compared this album to Judas Priest's Painkiller. That is utter blasphemy! This piece of shit album is just another shitty screamo album. The singing is fucking disgraceful. Only reccomended for wimps and posers.
No points. No redeeming qualities. Everything here sucks.
Bullet for My Valentine are shitty metalcore garbage. They compared this album to Judas Priest's Painkiller. That is utter blasphemy! This piece of shit album is just another shitty screamo album. The singing is fucking disgraceful. Only reccomended for wimps and posers.
No points. No redeeming qualities. Everything here sucks.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Exodus - Let There Be Blood
What the fuck? Exodus re-recorded Bonded by Blood, their best album. Bonded by Blood didn't need to be re-recorded. What was wrong with the original one? Nothing! On Let There Be Blood, they modernized everything and made into an overproduced pile of shit. The great Paul Baloff (R.I.P.) would roll in his grave if he heard this. NU vocalist Rob Dukes does a horrible job on the vocals. The magic of the first album is not present on Let There Be Blood. It's a soulless, overproduced version of Bonded by Blood with shitty vocals. They dedicated this re-recording to Paul. What an insult! Paul Baloff was the real Exodus. THIS is Exodunce...
The truth behind Let There Be Blood (NOTE: this track isn't the actual re-recording)
BONUS VIDEO:
EGO OF A SPINELESS FRAUD (parody of Children of a Worthless God from a more recent album)
Both videos brought to you by TALES FROM THE PIT.
The truth behind Let There Be Blood (NOTE: this track isn't the actual re-recording)
BONUS VIDEO:
EGO OF A SPINELESS FRAUD (parody of Children of a Worthless God from a more recent album)
Both videos brought to you by TALES FROM THE PIT.
Friday, December 12, 2008
Arsonists Get All the Girls - The Game Of Life
More Deathcore lameness from Century Mediocre! With a name like that, you already know they play shitcore for scene kids. Fuck Arsonists Get All the Girls! This band blows chicken dicks! Their bass player died by drinking himself to death. Too bad the rest of the members didn't follow his footsteps. R.I.P. (Rot in pieces) Patrick Mason, you stupid faggot. It always brings me pleasure to know that a scene tard dies. Sadly, the rest of the members of this shitty band are alive and sucking as much cock as possible.
The music? Well, it's just the same shitty metalcore that we've all heard a million times before. Just a bit more "experimental." No need to go into an in depth review. If you have any common sense, you would avoid this band for the band name alone. I'm so glad this metalcore/deathcore trend is dying. That's right! The trend is finally coming to an end! Much like Retro-thrash, another trend on it's way to the morgue. Soon bands like Trivium and The Devil Wears Prada will be long forgotten. With new bands like Godless Rising and Bone Gnawer coming out, there seems to be light at the end of the tunnel. I predict by 2010, Metalcore/Deathcore will be gone!
Rating: giving this a 0 would be way too kind.
The music? Well, it's just the same shitty metalcore that we've all heard a million times before. Just a bit more "experimental." No need to go into an in depth review. If you have any common sense, you would avoid this band for the band name alone. I'm so glad this metalcore/deathcore trend is dying. That's right! The trend is finally coming to an end! Much like Retro-thrash, another trend on it's way to the morgue. Soon bands like Trivium and The Devil Wears Prada will be long forgotten. With new bands like Godless Rising and Bone Gnawer coming out, there seems to be light at the end of the tunnel. I predict by 2010, Metalcore/Deathcore will be gone!
Rating: giving this a 0 would be way too kind.
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
Underoath - Lost in the Sound of Separation
Genre: Christian Mallcore/Gay Porn Soundtrack/Screamo
Year: 2008
One of the worst bands to ever disgrace the music scene. They are probably the lamest excuse for Metal that you'll ever hear! Can you believe people dare to call them "Metal"? The screaming sounds like he's getting a cock shoved up his ass! LIKE ALL -CORE SCERAMING! The clean singing sounds emo! I cringe every time he goes into those extra-bitchy clean vocals. They are brutally gay. The musicianship? What musicianship? They sound like they are humping their instruments! What the fuck do people see in this garbage? Can you believe that people are stupid enough to call this shit "Metal"? This is lighter than the average "Metal"core band. I can't fucking wait for this "Metalcore" trend to die out! All metalcore bands are shitty and Underoath are no exception. Lost in the Sound of Separation is the background music for every gay orgy to ever take place! This album was made to be a queer porn soundtrack. If you like this crap, FUCK YOU!
UNDEROATH ARE NOT METAL! THEY ARE SCREAMO AND THEY FUCKING BLOW!
A 0 is much too high for this album.
Year: 2008
One of the worst bands to ever disgrace the music scene. They are probably the lamest excuse for Metal that you'll ever hear! Can you believe people dare to call them "Metal"? The screaming sounds like he's getting a cock shoved up his ass! LIKE ALL -CORE SCERAMING! The clean singing sounds emo! I cringe every time he goes into those extra-bitchy clean vocals. They are brutally gay. The musicianship? What musicianship? They sound like they are humping their instruments! What the fuck do people see in this garbage? Can you believe that people are stupid enough to call this shit "Metal"? This is lighter than the average "Metal"core band. I can't fucking wait for this "Metalcore" trend to die out! All metalcore bands are shitty and Underoath are no exception. Lost in the Sound of Separation is the background music for every gay orgy to ever take place! This album was made to be a queer porn soundtrack. If you like this crap, FUCK YOU!
UNDEROATH ARE NOT METAL! THEY ARE SCREAMO AND THEY FUCKING BLOW!
A 0 is much too high for this album.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
I Wrestled a Bear Once - IWrestledABearOnce
Genre: Experimental Deathcore (Oh fuck...)
Year: 2008
As if Century Media didn't disgrace their legacy enough. A label that use to put out great albums for Asphyx and Unleashed, now reduced to a trendy label. They have been releasing mainly crap for a long time but this is the worst! I Wrestled A Bear Once. Yes people, I'm not making this up. Look it up. I Wrestled A Bear Once is a real band and sadly, they're serious. Anyone who has a band name like that is a retard. It's a mix of techno, deathcore, disco, and other crap! YES! I'm not kidding. It's stupid, pretentious, and just awful! It's hard to listen to. How can people take them seriously? Why is this bullshit so lame?! It's hard to ignore it too. As if the "mainstream metal scene" wasn't gay enough. This shit band comes around! This is painful to listen to. You will enjoy having your genitals bashed in by a spiked club then to listen to this band. I Wrestled A Bear Once is one of the worst bands you will ever hear. I can guarantee that.
LOWER THAN 0 IS MY RATING! FUCK THIS BAND!
Year: 2008
As if Century Media didn't disgrace their legacy enough. A label that use to put out great albums for Asphyx and Unleashed, now reduced to a trendy label. They have been releasing mainly crap for a long time but this is the worst! I Wrestled A Bear Once. Yes people, I'm not making this up. Look it up. I Wrestled A Bear Once is a real band and sadly, they're serious. Anyone who has a band name like that is a retard. It's a mix of techno, deathcore, disco, and other crap! YES! I'm not kidding. It's stupid, pretentious, and just awful! It's hard to listen to. How can people take them seriously? Why is this bullshit so lame?! It's hard to ignore it too. As if the "mainstream metal scene" wasn't gay enough. This shit band comes around! This is painful to listen to. You will enjoy having your genitals bashed in by a spiked club then to listen to this band. I Wrestled A Bear Once is one of the worst bands you will ever hear. I can guarantee that.
LOWER THAN 0 IS MY RATING! FUCK THIS BAND!
Sunday, November 23, 2008
The Mentors - Up The Dose
Genre: Heavy Metal
Year: 1986
The Mentors are one of the best bands period. They really don't get the praise they deserve. They should be spoken in the same breath as Motorhead. The power of The Mentors is something to never under-estimate.
The music is Traditional Heavy Metal. It is very catchy and has many riffs that will stick with you until the day you die. Most of the tracks have the basic Rock N Roll song structures. There are no weak moments to be found on this album. Sickie Wifebeater has my vote as THE most underrated guitarist in Metal. His guitar playing is really something special. The riffs on this album are very catchy. When he plays a guitar solo, it's something you must hear. He isn't the most technical but his solo's are just magical. Sickie has a really great sense of melody and he never runs out of killer riffs. Dr. Heathen Scum is a very competent bass player and unlike many metal albums, his bass is audible. A very solid bass player. El Duce's drumming is just right and fits the music, perfectly. His rough vocal style is something unique. He is one of the Gods of Metal and he will be missed.
The lyrics are very well written. They are extremely sleazy and are not for P.C. types. Songs such as "Rock'em Sock'em", "Kick It On Down", "Secretary Hump", "Couch Test Casting", and "S.F.C.C." (Suck and Fuck and Cook and Clean) are guaranteed to piss off feminists. If you are looking for some shitty pseudo-intellectual poetry, stay the fuck away from The Mentors. The opening track "Heterosexuals Have The Right To Rock" is still true today due to many of the emo/scene kids that insist on blurring the gender line. This song was originally written to bash the Glam rock bands that were very popular at the time.
If you are a fan of old school Heavy Metal. The Mentors are a must. If you are just getting into this great band, this would be the album to start with. "Up The Dose" is perfection and a masterpiece in Metal that is often overlooked. A true classic!
10+/10
Year: 1986
The Mentors are one of the best bands period. They really don't get the praise they deserve. They should be spoken in the same breath as Motorhead. The power of The Mentors is something to never under-estimate.
The music is Traditional Heavy Metal. It is very catchy and has many riffs that will stick with you until the day you die. Most of the tracks have the basic Rock N Roll song structures. There are no weak moments to be found on this album. Sickie Wifebeater has my vote as THE most underrated guitarist in Metal. His guitar playing is really something special. The riffs on this album are very catchy. When he plays a guitar solo, it's something you must hear. He isn't the most technical but his solo's are just magical. Sickie has a really great sense of melody and he never runs out of killer riffs. Dr. Heathen Scum is a very competent bass player and unlike many metal albums, his bass is audible. A very solid bass player. El Duce's drumming is just right and fits the music, perfectly. His rough vocal style is something unique. He is one of the Gods of Metal and he will be missed.
The lyrics are very well written. They are extremely sleazy and are not for P.C. types. Songs such as "Rock'em Sock'em", "Kick It On Down", "Secretary Hump", "Couch Test Casting", and "S.F.C.C." (Suck and Fuck and Cook and Clean) are guaranteed to piss off feminists. If you are looking for some shitty pseudo-intellectual poetry, stay the fuck away from The Mentors. The opening track "Heterosexuals Have The Right To Rock" is still true today due to many of the emo/scene kids that insist on blurring the gender line. This song was originally written to bash the Glam rock bands that were very popular at the time.
If you are a fan of old school Heavy Metal. The Mentors are a must. If you are just getting into this great band, this would be the album to start with. "Up The Dose" is perfection and a masterpiece in Metal that is often overlooked. A true classic!
10+/10
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