The Mentors - Up The Dose

Genre: Heavy Metal
Year: 1986

The Mentors are one of the best bands period. They really don't get the praise they deserve. They should be spoken in the same breath as Motorhead. The power of The Mentors is something to never under-estimate.

The music is Traditional Heavy Metal. It is very catchy and has many riffs that will stick with you until the day you die. Most of the tracks have the basic Rock N Roll song structures. There are no weak moments to be found on this album. Sickie Wifebeater has my vote as THE most underrated guitarist in Metal. His guitar playing is really something special. The riffs on this album are very catchy. When he plays a guitar solo, it's something you must hear. He isn't the most technical but his solo's are just magical. Sickie has a really great sense of melody and he never runs out of killer riffs. Dr. Heathen Scum is a very competent bass player and unlike many metal albums, his bass is audible. A very solid bass player. El Duce's drumming is just right and fits the music, perfectly. His rough vocal style is something unique. He is one of the Gods of Metal and he will be missed.

The lyrics are very well written. They are extremely sleazy and are not for P.C. types. Songs such as "Rock'em Sock'em", "Kick It On Down", "Secretary Hump", "Couch Test Casting", and "S.F.C.C." (Suck and Fuck and Cook and Clean) are guaranteed to piss off feminists. If you are looking for some shitty pseudo-intellectual poetry, stay the fuck away from The Mentors. The opening track "Heterosexuals Have The Right To Rock" is still true today due to many of the emo/scene kids that insist on blurring the gender line. This song was originally written to bash the Glam rock bands that were very popular at the time.

If you are a fan of old school Heavy Metal. The Mentors are a must. If you are just getting into this great band, this would be the album to start with. "Up The Dose" is perfection and a masterpiece in Metal that is often overlooked. A true classic!



10+/10

Rigor Mortis - Freaks

Genre: Thrash Metal
Year: 1990

One of the greatest thrash metal recordings ever. Rigor Mortis are one of the standouts in thrash metal because of their flawless songwritting and musicanship. The structure is very much like Classical music. The music is extremely technical yet the band remembers that they have to write a well-structured song. Because of all of this, they are among the best thrash metal bands.

The production kicks ass. You can hear all instruments and the guitar tone is fucking great. All of these songs are memorable and brutal thrashers. No weak parts here. The best song on the EP would be "Six Feet Under/Worms of the Earth." The track contains 10 minutes of epic, brutal, and technical thrash metal with Classical music leanings. Although it's an EP, "Freaks" is my favorite Rigor Mortis release. As I said, there are no shitty songs. Get this fucking EP. It might be short but it's more fulfilling than most thrash metal albums.

10/10

Hooded Menace - Fulfill The Curse

Genre: Death/Doom Metal
Year: 2008

Here it is, folks. The album of the year and what an album! If you have read my reviews, you can tell that I'm quite critical but I have no complaints for this album. Fulfill The Curse is just godly. Fans of Cathedral, Asphyx, and Candlemass will be pleased and being a fan of those bands, I can confirm this.

The music is very well structured. At times the music can be very epic and the music is just overall evil. Hooded Menace plays the finest bonecrushing doom metal out there with a great sense of melody. Fulfill The Curse captures the same atmosphere that the movies "Tombs of the Blind Dead" possess. The lyrics are very well written and are based on The Blind Dead movie series. The riffs are very memorable and are dark and erie. The guitar playing is not overly simple and it isn't overly technical. Crimson Executioner's bass playing is very good too. Especially on "Beauty and The Feast." The Hunchback's drumming is very good. Like the rest of the playing, it's not too simple and it isn't too technical. Which I consider to be a good thing. Especially in this style of music. Leper of Berzano's vocals are putrid and just fucking great. He kills all of those "BREEE BREEE" vocalists who sound like a pig getting anal fisted by a retard.

Highlights: All of the songs are perfect. I can't choose. Really, a review of this album can't describe how great this album is. Just buy this masterpiece of Horror Death/Doom Metal right now! It's on LP, courtesy of Doomentia Records!

NOTE: Metal Pundit are thanked in the "Thank You" list!

Overall Rating: 10+/10

Normally I choose not to disturb Bundy's punishing or exalting reviews because his work shines on its own and is best as he leaves it. However, I must inject myself into this review to address the members of Hooded Menace. First of all, you men are metal geniuses and this fact has further been confirmed by Bundy's flawless review. It truly is difficult to musically please this man (virtually impossible to impress him as you guys have), as he is a true metal connoisseur. Secondly, as the founder of The Metal Pundit, I thank you for humbling both Bundy and me by graciously including this blog on your Thank You list. You gentlemen have a home here. Congratulations on your masterpiece! - Lefty Metalhead

Golgotha - demo

Year: 1991
Genre: Sludge/Thrash Metal

Golgotha were a band from Morgan City, Louisiana. They would later be known as Acid Bath. The reason why I decided to review their old demo is because this demo was something unique. Not saying that Acid Bath's material isn't. It is something I feel any fan of metal should hear. In 1991, Golgotha recorded a demo that I would consider a gem in the metal underground. The atmosphere on it is perfect. It's very morbid, very dark. The music is unique and heavy. It sounds almost like old school death metal but with clean vocals (although there are some occasional death metal vocals). Not as chaotic as most death metal bands though. They really concentrate on making a very morbid atmosphere. It really has it's own sound. The production could be better, but it's a demo so you can't expect much out of the sound quality. Especially if it was recorded almost 20 years ago. Golgotha would later change their name to Acid Bath and would release more quality music until they disbanded in 1997 due to the death of bassist, Audie Pitre.

Highlights: Apartment 13, Apocalyptic Sunshine, Finger Paintings Of The Insane, Blood of God, Nothingness, "The Mortician's Flame, and "What Color is Death."


Overall Rating: 10+/10

Machine Head - The Blackening

Year: 2007
Genre: Mallcore

For the past year, I've been calling Machine Head's "The Blackening" the most overrated album of 2007 without hearing the whole thing. Today, I listened to the whole album and I was right. Lost my appetite. All because of listening to this abomination. People have been raving about Machine Head's latest record, "The Blackening." Some have been comparing it to Metallica's early material. Some have even gone so far to say it's the greatest metal album ever. But I want to say this. I would rather eat a KFC bucket of my own shit than to listen to The Blackening again. Machine Head are trying to be progressive metal but they failed. They also try to sound like old school thrash metal at times, and it only ends up sounding like Trivium. I want to know why people are acting like The Blackening is the greatest album of all time. It's nothing new. You might as well be listening to Shadows Fall or Bullet for My Valentine or some other emo-metalcore bullshit. Machine Head were always a trendy band. Hopped on every bandwagon. Look at the facts. When "Burn My Eyes" and "The More Things to Change" came out. Groove Metal was big. They followed the trend. Everybody wanted to sound exactly like Pantera and those two albums sounded boring and uninspired. Then came Nu-Metal. Robb Flynn became Flava Flynn. Machine Head recorded "The Burning Red" and "Supercharger" of which are some of the worst records of all time. Even some of Machine Head's hardcore fans thought those albums sucked. Soon, Metalcore became big with the rise of crappy bands like Lamb of God and Killswitch Engage. Machine Head followed this trend and released "Through the Ashes of Empires" and now "The Blackening." Like the album before it, The Blackening is a metalcore album. Now with more retro-thrash leanings. It features alot of the things that makes the current "metal scene" suck so badly. Clean emo vocals, generic and overdone groove riffs, Cliche and idiotic lyrics, Modernized sound, Pointless breakdowns, poor song structure, etc. Not to mention it's sad excuses for thrash metal riffs. Some of these songs are 9 minutes long but they are poorly done.

Robb Flynn's vocals sound like his normal wanna-be "tough guy" voice with a pussy Killswitch Engage-esque whinny emo voice. In one of the softer moments of "Halo," he sounds extremely bitchy like he's about to cry. This album is filled with musical cliches. I don't even know where to start. Sure, Robb Flynn and Phil Demmel can play guitar but does that really matter? They aren't doing anything that special. The riffs are recycled from countless other bands. Tons of boring groove riffs and lame post-"thrash" riffs. The lead guitar playing is nothing special either. It just sounds forced and dishonest. People say Machine Head aren't nu-metal anymore I hear tons of nu-metal moments in pretty much every song. I mentioned before that the lyrics are crap. Alot of them have to do with "teen angst." It sounds pathetic coming from a 20 year old loser but it's much worse from a 40 year old man.

Overall, listening to The Blackening all the way through was self-torture. I literally feel sick to my stomach and wish to have the last hour of my life back. The Blackening is probably the most overrated album of all time. Don't believe what you are told. This is not a masterpiece or a modern day classic. This is just a pathetic attempt at prog. metal, thrash, and metal as a whole. There is nothing unique about copying something bad that has been done before and playing it for 10 minutes. This is just boring and pathetic.


0/10

Dismember - Dismember

Genre: Death Metal
Year: 2008

You can't go wrong with Dismember. They never released a bad album and have been around for 2 decades. It's good to see this band going strong after all these years. They haven't become trendy. They aren't recording long blasturbation sessions with over the top wankery. Unlike the shitty nu-slamcore bands, no stupid pig squeal vocals can be found. Their new self-titled album destroys all that pathetic modernized crap. I bet the people who listen to that shit wouldn't think it's so brutal if it didn't have big production. Dismember didn't need big production on this album and it's still more brutal than gay ass Putrid Pile. "Dismember" is a real death metal album. It may not bring anything new to the table but it gets the job done. Plus, listen to that guitar tone. I have heard tons of bands use it and Dismember are no strangers to it but the tone just sounds so goddamn good. Nice guitar playing too. Nothing extremely technical but it's just right. Great guitar harmonizing too. Dismember has a good sense of melody as well. The highlights are "Death Conquers All", "Under a Bloodred Sky", "The Hills Have Eyes", "Legion", "Tide of Blood", and "To End it All." If you can't enjoy this, you're not a metalhead.

Overall Rating: 10/10

Mayhem - Ordo Ad Chao

Genre: Black Metal
Year: 2007

For those who were disappointed with "Chimera" and "Grand Declaration of War" might enjoy this album. However I just want to add that I have no problem with GDOW. Ordo Ad Chao marks the return of Attila Csihar of whom provided vocals on De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas. The production on Odo Ad Chao is very dry and fits the music well. The music on this record is dark and evil. They haven't sounded this evil since the early days. There is even a doom metal influence on this OAC. Strangely, Mayhem's only original member in the band, Necrobutcher does not play on this album. Mayhem's guitarist Blasphemer plays bass. However Necrobutcher is still part of the band's line up. Blasphemer's guitar playing is very unique and I think he is a very overlooked guitarist in metal. Hellhammer's drumming on this album is great as always. He is one of the greatest drummers of all time, if not THE greatest drummer. Attila sounds like he's being possessed. His vocal performance is excellent. It fits the creepy atmosphere on Ordo Ad Chao.

Overall, this is Mayhem's best after DMDS. A masterpiece and one of the best albums of 2007. A very creative and strange record.

Rating: 10+/10
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Mayhem - Illuminate Eliminate