We thought this day would never come...
After missing countless deadlines
A million line up changes...
Chinese Democracy will finally see the light of day.
As you probably know, Chinese Democracy will be released this Sunday through Best Buy. It will be Guns N Roses' first album of original material since 1991's "Use Your Illusions I and II." 14 years in the making... and for what? This album BLOWS donkey balls. You can tell that this has been in the making for so long. Some of these songs sound dated. They sound like the average Nine Inch Nails influenced pseudo industrial-"rock" song from 1997 - 2000. I'm not disappointed because I knew this album would suck! I'm just taking the opportunity to bash this piece of shit. This "music" is so fucking lame. It's hard to call some of this shit "rock." I'm reviewing this album based on the songs I heard from their MySpace page since they have the whole album streaming on there for the time being.
"There’s this one song called ‘Sorry’ that’s almost like doom metal with Axl singing really clean over this grinding, slow beat that is fucking mean, I cannot get it out of my head"
- Sebastian Bach
BULLSHIT! It sounds nothing like Doom Metal. Don't disgrace Doom Metal by associating it with that piece of shit song. Sebastian Bach is a fucking moron and I bet he fucks Axl behind closed doors EVERY FUCKING DAY! Both him and Axl are major man chowder kommandos! Bach likes to fuck Axl up the ass and give that fat moron a giant facial in which Axl will rub all over his big man tits with a smile on his fat cocksucking face. He obviously thought about if he should spit or swallow MORE than he thought about the actual music on this giant turd of a CD. "Chinese Democracy" is the equivalent to gay group incest among old guys with scene hair and gay lisps who have writings on their face that point arrows to their mouths that simply state "Insert Cock Here." Axl, be ashamed. For those who think this is "the greatest album in music history", eat a bowl of fuck. This record is disturbingly gay. Every time someone plays Chinese Democracy, Elton John is getting his asshole destroyed to the point of eternal bleeding by his husband's dick! This is one of the worst albums I've ever heard. Don't buy it! It's a waste of money just like the making of this album was a waste of time. This albums screams out "THUPER DUPER GAY!" If you want quality music in 2008, get Hooded Meance's "Fulfill the Curse." REAL DOOM METAL.
This album has a score lower than 0.
Enjoy your free Dr. Pepper.
11 comments:
Domm metal! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Doom Metal = Solitude Aeturnus, Reverend Bizzare, Evoken, Skepticism, Thergothon, Candlemass, Saturnus, Anathema (Darren White era), etc.
Guns 'n' Roses = "Cock Rock" that was "played out" in 1988.
There's no way this garbage could be mistaken for Domm Metal.
Makes me wanna PUKE.
Obviously he's never heard a Doom Metal band in his life. This isn't even "cock rock" anymore. Some of those songs sound like fucking R&B and Sheryl Crow! Hahahahaha!
Maybe Sebastian Bach meant that Guns N Roses are "doomed," rather than "doom metal."
It just really chaps my ass that Sebastian Bach would DREAM of comparing anything by Guns 'n' Roses to music from greats like diSEMBOWELMENT or Candlemass. Doom is probably my favorite genre of metal and throwing out such baseless comparisons is a slap in the face to any of the doom and doom/death gods.
Excuse me while I throw on Solitude Aeturnus' "Into the Depths of Sorrow", cue up Anathema's "Pentecost III" for later, and immerse myself in TRUE FUCKING DOOM METAL!
Post script on a non-metal topic: If I want "industrial rock", I'll stick to the first two or three Godflesh albums -- or old Wumpscut. Or black industrial sick fucks like Psyclon Nine, Vargr, Feindflug, and MZ.412. If I want REAL industrial, old Laibach and EN fit the bill nicely.
I certainly don't want to hear some drug addled has-beens trying to sound like Trent Reznor, who, IMO, is one of the most overrated "musicians" ever to produce an album.
I think I was too soft with this reivew so I added some extra insults.
The insults were well-deserved, I might say.
"I think I was too soft with this reivew so I added some extra insults."
You want a fucking medal?
Anonymous' wanking material:
www.lemonparty.org
"You want a fucking medal?"
Mr. Bundy deserves a medal for subjecting himself to this aural torture so the rest of the non-scene oriented metal community doesn't have to.
You, however, deserve only a nice, hot, steaming cup of shut the fuck up.
You just love being Bundy's trusty little ass-kisser, don't you?
"Anonymous' wanking material:
www.lemonparty.org"
Wow, al, you seem to be a big fan of that kind of stuff to have the website.
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